sometimes i am not sure if i am having depression from work?

sometimes i just hate the feeling after a day of hard work . i mean hard work but with no motivation to carry on for the next working day.

i hate the fact that i slog like mad , making myself so breathless and miserable to get all the x rays done in the fastest possible time i could take to complete them, with nothing but complaints at the end of the day.

i really really hate that i have to go without water and toilet break just to slog my ass off to get the x rays done leaving a worn out "me" at the end of the day.

i really really really hate when i am already given my very best effort yet in the eyes of others, i am still slow and could have perform better.

the fact that i have already stressed myself out with body ache all over , dehydrated, multiples bruises due to hard knocks when need to get things done fast... i really dun understand why i dun feel happy after that.

maybe i am really really very very slow ...... maybe i am really not suitable for this job .... maybe i should not have even left my previous job... maybe i should not even take up radiography in the first place....