It's a well known fact that in an organization, everyone is replaceble. Everyone can be trained to take over one another's duties. That makes retaining of good quality staff more difficult as the management will take on this mentality that they could just find someone else if they lost a good worker. Someone will take up this role and continue on the running of the company. However, each management style differs and at some point of time, new form of life is introduced into the organisation which may either benefit or harm the organisation.

Whatever i have heard yesterday, brought me back to the time when i had decided to quit my job about six years ago. Not i seek recognition, just that after doing so much, what i got was "i know u worked very hard, but most of the time i dunno what u are doing" All the time i spent generating out reports, calculations of FTEs and co ordinating of projects were wasted coz that person dun appreciate. The time i spent exploring the new system and modifying reports format to suit the client's ever changing demand, the time i need to crack my brain how to explain dropped in service level were also put to waste coz they usually come back saying the clients not happy with this and that. Gone are the days ..... i was pissed off and drained coz i dun want to work for someone who dun know it takes how much work to be able to produce a concise reports. They only wants fast and dun bother about credibility coz they just wants figures and they will try to talk their ways out.

Now in my current situation, i think of ways to analyse the situations. But need time to collate the stats. Need to estimate the total cases we could perform for the entire day and get the average handling time to justify how much workload we can handle. i dun really like the idea of being accused that we dun worked hard enough. WE ct radiographers were one of the busiest pple in the department. We dun deserved this kind of remarks. Of course, not all of us are hardworking lot but in terms of work, we just give our best and be as efficient as we wished we could be at all times.

i got irritated when i am left alone struggling with the patient as they refused to co operate and keep still for the scans. Sometimes i feel bad if i need to raise my voice at them. it really helped if someone could lend an helping hand instead of sitting at my console writing casenotes and follow up with cases. i know that we are all busy but can't we just work as a team and not like individual like i have sent this for scan ,,, not my business till then scan was over and done with. Do u understand my fear, i am physically not strong, if the patient choose to turn over and fell from the table, i have no strength to prevent that if the patient is big. Where is the patient safety? Many times, i wonder when will that happen and the blame will be on me ..coz i am the one dealing with the patient. i will be the one writing ehor getting all the blames for such incidents which could be all prevented if people go an extra mile. No one understands... what's this world coming to....

i hate the existing world... sometimes i dun even know why i bother to live in such harsh environment. i cannot end my life coz i still have dependents depending on me to continue their lives. i cannot just take an exit out coz i have to be responsible for my life. i cannot just give up coz there's still something to fight for .. that's my utmost happiness. i hold on the belief that i will be able to live the way i want to someday....